Here is an essay written by one of my mature students recently as homework. I have not 'doctored' it and present it because it is enjoyable to read, and also has strengths and weaknesses of composition, which perhaps other students can learn from.
 
"Describe a place which evokes strong memories, either pleasant or unpleasant."

School days

'For me my strongest memories will be secondary school, which were both pleasant and unpleasant.

The school itself was a private school situated in the heart of rural Shropshire, with picturesque surroundings. The school catered for pupils from prep school to sixth form.

The first few years were very pleasant, the headmaster was respected and he was a very good history teacher. History being my favourite subject along with French. All the students respected him.

Of course, as in any school there are always problems with bullying etc. But that is not what bothered me. I hated violence and still do to this day.

There was a change in headmaster. A chap called Michael Symmonds, who, unlike his predecessor, Mr Wilson, did not know how to run a school properly. He tried to make it a military school.

He only wanted the best, second best would not do, according to him. I had a mild learning disability and did OK in certain subjects such as history and French.

This is the time when I did not feel so happy at school and wanted out. Smoking and drinking increased dramatically and this was a boarding school. It catered for boarders, overseas students as well as day pupils like myself; and people such as myself were asked to bring in stuff.

I felt lost at school. I wanted to do well but felt I was getting nowhere. I begged and begged to leave, but the headmaster kept writing letters saying how well I was doing, when I wasn't.

I have learnt more outside school than I ever did in it, but having said that, I think the good times outweighed the bad times, especially when I was being mischievous. And those are the memories that stay with me and the friends I made.'

What grade would it get? 

Not an A* - but perhaps an A. I think it is worth more than a B because it has a strong theme and is well -controlled and covers a lot of ground in relatively few words.  But this is my break-down: 

The strengths

Above all, a well-structured, complete story, with beginning, middle and end.

Each paragraph has its own topic - and the paragraph sequence unfolds  smoothly from one to the next.

The specific details seize the attention and make it convincing - Shropshire, History, Michael Symmonds 

Variety in the sentences - some longer, some shorter. 

The weaknesses

Opportunities for more detailed elaboration are not always followed - picturesque (how?) ... bullying (what?) ...  stuff (what?). The reader is left curious to know what the writer might have had in mind.

Abbreviations like etc  are best avoided in English exams; and colloquial terms should be used sparingly and deliberately, if at all,  to prevent the style appearing 'lazy.  Examples are:  A chap ... OK ... wanted out ... stuff

 

Yesterday there arrived here a  circular letter from the Lib Dem councillor for the Ward, Paula Vickers, with news that a Licensing application has been lodged with the City Council to reopen what used to be The Farmhouse restaurant - currently to let - at the lower end of the street. The Bing (as the new business is to be called)  will be a 'sex entertainment venue'.

Needless to say many residents of Dover Street are up in arms. I am not a resident, but I have written to the Licensing Committee with an objection in the following terms:

Dear Committee members  

I wish to register my personal objection to the granting of this licence.  

The building until lately known as The Farmhouse is a prominent two-storey detached property with a forecourt for parking. It dominates the lower stretch of Dover Street on the right hand side past the Flying Horse and Lanna restaurant. If its unity is retained, it is physically one of the largest and most prominent business properties in Dover Street. 
 
In order for business there  to succeed the operator would need to use its occupancy to the full and become a prominent presence. This it appears "The Bing" recognises in making its application for a 7 -day per week licence from 8pm into the early hours.  

But this bid for what appears to me a large-scale operation is at odds with the discreet and intimate character of sex entertainment, and particularly in a city as small and character-conscious as Canterbury.    

In order to establish itself commercially The Bing would  have to publicise its presence vigorously from the launch, and this may lead unintentionally to a 'stigmatizing' of Dover Street for other less controversial businesses.  

I declare my interest as I run a Tuition business in Dover Street, and cater to families with children of school age who come in from the greater Canterbury district. Clearly an education business is not very compatible with a nearby adult entertainment outlet (even if hours of business would not overlap).  

However, it is not so much the nature as the scale of the proposal to which I object. Dover Street has been for many years, and is at present, a harmonious small-business environment; and this character could be jeopardised and commercially compromised, by the arrival of a high-profile supplier of controversial entertainment.  

Yours sincerely  

Peter Whisson

Centre owner     

The matter will be decided after 7 April. I expect there will be lots more about it in the local media.
May the application not succeed.      

A few weeks ago (3 February) I posted the beginning of a discussion on online tutoring, defining it in the following terms:
   
What distinguishes online tutoring is the technology of conferencing. From home, or from anywhere else with their laptops or smart phones, students are able to see their tutor (and vice versa), and follow his or her real-time demonstrations on a whiteboard. The tutor can then turn the use of the whiteboard over to the student to have a go at exercises.

I opened by saying that Tuition Canterbury does not offer such a service, and that I have no plans to introduce it here.  These are some reasons why I would urge caution on parents who might think that, with IT advancing so fast,  online tuition is the way ahead:

Firstly, one should do the sums carefully. Online tuition is promoted as being a cheaper alternative to regular tuition, but beware - providers of online tuition materials tend to operate inflexible payment systems! A month's free-of- charge trial may be tempting - but thereafter, the customer will tend to be in for a long run. Signing up may entail agreeing to a notice period of at least 3 months. How do you know that your child's enthusiasm will hold up? Many students will want tuition only for the short term and for a goal that is within sight; some students require tuition with the focus on  specific school or examination assignments - not general purpose instruction.

Secondly, no matter how attractively packaged, and no matter how comprehensive or extensive an online bank of lessons and exercises with an online tutor may appear to be, the risk is always there that the materials and the experience are not going to be a hit with the child. Novelty always wears off, and the tendency of highly-systematized tuition programs with limited possibilites for variation (compared to face to face tuition), may cause students to tire sooner rather than later.  A six-month deal may then prove poor value for money. 

Thirdly, there is something inherently unsatisfactory about the anonymous relationship between  online tutor and tutee (I know that I would find it dispiriting to tutor down the line to a student I would never meet). What happens when the student doesn't 'get' something - and the tutor can't explain it with the available materials over the available media?  This is often bound to occur. Some providers claim to address the issue with a concept of 'blended tuition'  - ie. the student can do some of their work online and some at a local 'tied-in' learning centre with a tutor in the traditional way. I have never seen such an arrangement described as working in practice. To me it has all the potential of breakdown - messy, frustrating and inefficient for student and tutor alike.